While reading my latest book on politics and economics, I came across a reference to a bible story called "Parable of the Talents'. In this story three servants are each give ‘talents’ (a monetary denomination used by the Greeks).
To the first, the master gave 5 talents, to the second he gave 2 and to the third he gave 1 talent. The master gave each a different amount of money (talents), according to their ability.
After some time the master returned to see how his servants had used their talents. Two of the servants doubled their money and the master was pleased with their results. The third servant, fearful of losing it, buried his money where no one benefited from it, including himself.
When the master summoned the third servant to get an accounting of what he had done with his talent, he was angry and displeased to find out the servant had simply buried it and where the money had no opportunity to earn interest. The servant tried to explain to the master that he knew how ‘exacting’ the master was and he did not want to lose His money. The master didn’t buy it. He ordered that the one talent be given to the first servant who was able to convert 5 talents into 10. (Reference Matt 25:14 and Luke 19:12).
Although I believe the story or parable was strictly about economics and frugality, it can be extended to include, not only money, but true talents (i.e., ability). The cornerstone of my book, The Logic of Success, is the premise that unless you find out what it is you were meant to do, true happiness will elude you. Finding out what it is you truly want takes time, patience and perseverance. In the first chapter I discuss how to create ‘search patterns’ to find your true calling .
Now, I want go beyond the obvious of telling you about your hidden talents (you already know you have one, two or more). I want to address the ‘How’ talents were (and are) buried within us.
As children, we all loved to discover new things. We even did things when others advised us not to (e.g., touching the stove when Mom said it was hot). We wanted to learn, we wanted to discover for ourselves the world around us. Failure and pain were not yet transformed into anxieties.
As we got older, we were expected to act a little more responsible and accountable for our actions. Like in any soap opera drama, this is the scene in your life where ‘society’ steps in and starts benevolently imposing its norms on your behavior. You are now expected to:
a) conform
b) be more realistic
c) put away childish things, and the most brutal of all norms,
d) STOP thinking about yourself first.
So, what do we do? Exactly! We abide by each one.
We start to conform by dressing like everyone else, and doing all the things “normal” people are expected to do. We even adopt their mannerisms, language and way of thinking.
We then stop dreaming and imagining ourselves doing wonderful things because we’re told we should be more realistic. So what happens? We no longer create alternative visions of how our life could be and settle (i.e., compromise) for what's given; the mundane, the routine.
We then put away our childish ways because we need to be more mature and responsible. No more having fun like balloon fights, dancing when no one’s around, throwing food in the air to catch with our mouth, seeing how many times you can burp on one sip of Coca-Cola, or who can do the longest fart (sorry, I went too far). You get the idea.
Then the final act is committed. And as we grow older we commit a form of individual suicide of the mind. This is when we begin thinking of others, and forgetting ours. We begin sacrificing our desires for what others (e.g., society) needs before our own. And every time we have the audacity to think of ourselves, we immediately castigate ourselves by reminding our inner world that we can’t be selfish.
The long term result? You get a job, you stay at and as you get older you wake up one day to the reality most people experience at one time or another, “Hey, I’m not happy with my life.” You’ve done everything society has told you to do, but, you’re still not happy. You have a great family, you have a decent job, the kids are doing well, and you’re participating in all kinds of community events and fundraisers and so on.
Here's something scarier. You’re unhappy but you don’t know why or what it is you want to do with your life! You don't seem to have a 'real' talent and life doesn't seem to have meaning or purpose. Sound familiar?
Most people (i.e., society…again) label this a mid-life crisis. Not me! I’d like to label it: The Awakening. The quintessential moment in your life is when you wake up, rub the conformist eye gunk away and realize that your life is running out of time.
And here’s why you can’t find your talent. Over the years with every compromise and acquiescence of self, you were slowly burying your talents deeper and deeper. You now have the problem of having to unearth your talents after so many years of heaping selfless dirt on those childhood dreams.
Start now by giving yourself some time, a few moments in a day to remember, to think back on those things that gave you great joy and pleasure. Think about what you’d like to do and would make you happy. Break the bonds of conformity and to hell with being realistic for the moment.
Now don't get me wrong here. I’m not advocating a nihilistic view of life where you revolt and jeopardize all you’ve built. Far from it. What I am advocating is that you remove the subjective barriers, limitations and begin to think about your possibilities, your wishes and desires. Then, formulate a blueprint which you can implement over time to help you excavate that ONE talent that lays buried within you.
If you were the servant in the parable and the master were to appear before you, would you be like the third servant who did nothing with the talent given? The greatest human tragedy is the death of potential, your gift, your talent, without you ever being aware of it.
Find you talent, and start digging today. Here's a tip: start with fond memories and recall those times when you really enjoyed yourself doing an activity. That's where X marks the spot.
Ready? Get set! Start digging!
I heard a story the other day I’d like to share with you. Perhaps you’ve heard it...
A man decides he wants to build a magnificent house. He hires a contractor and tells the man to build the most spectacular house he can build.
“Don’t worry about the cost.” said the man. “I will be back in one year and will then reimburse you for whatever material expenses and cost of labor it takes to build this magnificent house.”
The contractor agrees and the stranger is off to return in one year. The contractor gives the project some thought but decides to put it off for a while before starting. He figures he has plenty of time to build this magnificent house.
As the months pass the stranger realizes he’s running out of time if he's going to complete the house on schedule. He decides to finally get started by going out and buying the materials needed. But, instead of buying the best material money could buy as he was instructed, he uses cheap materials that are readily available. In a rush to finish on time he also decides to cut a few corners here and there thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. After a lot of patching and fixing to keep thing together he is done.
One year later to the date, the stranger shows up to view his magnificent house. He looks at the house the contractor has built and asks,
“Did you build the house with the finest material? Did you hire the best labor money could buy? Would you say this is a magnificent house?
The contractor, not ready to admit that he took some shortcuts with labor and building materials, responded confidently, “Absolutely. It is the finest house anyone can live in.”
“That’s great. I’m glad you feel that way.” said the stranger “Because I’m giving you this house for you to live in.”
The contractor is stunned not only by the man's generosity but also by the reality that the house is less than magnificent. Would the contractor have taken more time and used better material if he knew the house would be his in the end? Of course he would’ve!
Replace the house with your life. Are you building the type of life you want or are you still building for someone else? If you have a job you don’t like, you are no different than the contractor who is building a ‘magnificent’ house (business) for someone else. When we build for others, we don’t give 100% of ourselves to the task at hand; that’s human nature. And when we don’t give 100% we never attain the level of achievement we hope for because we can’t get excited about building someone else’s house.
Our inability to give it our all leads to mediocrity. Mediocrity over time is never rewarded or recognized. The lack of reward or recognition leads us to believe that we aren’t worthy (i.e., worthless). Once we talk ourselves into believing we’re not worthy because nothing good ever happens to us, our self-esteem suffers. Once our self-esteem is sapped, we are no longer motivated to make any changes in our lives.
But here’s the rub-if you’re feeling depressed about your job because you feel inadequate, I’m here to tell you that it’s not YOU. It’s the situation you find yourself in that is creating an inadequate you. As long as you continue to build someone else’s house, you will never give 100%. You will always operate at a sub-optimal level (i.e., below your potential). But it’s not because YOU are sub-optimal, it’s because you are not building your house (i.e., your desired life) and find yourself in a sub-optimal circumstance.
It’s a vicious cycle if you think about it.
When you work for someone else, you will never realize your full potential. And as long as you operate at sub-optimal potential, you will always fall short of being great. Falling short consistently reinforces in you that belief that you ‘really are’ sub-optimal. In other words, your situation is causing you to behave in a manner that reinforces your feelings of inadequacy. But it’s not YOU! It’s the situation you find yourself in that is making your efforts mediocre.
If the stranger had told the contractor that the house would be his after it was built, I can assure you the contractor would studied, planned and executed with a high degree of efficiency an architectural extravaganza. He would’ve made every aspect of the house magnificent down to the front door keyhole. But because it wasn’t for him, he elected to operate at a sub-optimal level. The outcome had less to do with intelligence or money, and more to do with lack of motivation. It’s hard to motivate ourselves to be at our best everyday when we know we are building for someone else isn’t it?
Three Don’ts
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Don’t fall into the trap of believing that you can’t do it because you’re not good at your current job. You may not good at your current job because as long as you are building for someone else and not yourself, you will always operate at a sub-optimal level.
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Don’t fall into the trap of believing that you’re not qualified or smart enough because you don’t have a position of leadership at work or you’ve been passed over for a promotion. It’s not because you’re not good enough, again, it’s because you are operating at a sub-optimal level.
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Don’t wait for external validation to believe that you can be great at what you choose to do. The materials to build your own magnificent house are all around you. All you need to is study, plan and execute your life changing strategy.
How long will you continue to build someone else’s dream? I hope the answer is, “Not much longer!”
I want you to consider investing in yourself. I want you to believe in yourself. And I further want you to know that if you wanted to, at any given moment, you can start constructing your own magnificent house (i.e., career, life). The potential is within you waiting to be summoned by the right circumstances. Take some risks and create those circumstances. If you don't, you'll always operate at sub-optimal and never realize your true potential.
Start building your house TODAY...and let's talk one year from now! Are you up for the challenge?
